True Story: Waking up in the elderly home

Drinking can get you to sleep in onorthodox places.

Now here’s a true story in the category waking up strange. This actually happened nine years ago in Holland to guy that we shall call Micky, just to keep it simple. The moral of this story: if you wake up on a matrass on a balcony of an elderly home, you know you had a good night!

The year was 2003 and Micky was on his last day if introduction week for his new university. Like in many other countries introduction week is all about getting wasted. Which he did big time. The final day ended with a tour past a lot of bars in the city centre, after which he was supposed to crash at the house of a new classmate. However, the Gods of alcohol decided different. After some drinking games Micky got a phone call for which he had to go outside.

Now this phone call doesn’t matter for the story. But let’s tell it anyway, just to show the state of mind Micky was in. After about five minutes of talking with a woman, Micky wondered who he was talking to. She replied: your mother. Of course this made Micky very angry and told ‘that bitch’ to stop talking about his beloved mother. However the voice on the phone kept repeating that she was in fact his mother. After letting her say her full name and some more personal details, Micky agreed to give her the benefit of the doubt.

After hanging up he did not remember which bar he came from. None of them looked familiar so he started walking around. After some time he did not even lose the bar, but the whole city centre. In this strange city Micky wandered off further and further. Since the battery of his phone died, he saw no way to reach his new classmate and the place he was supposed to sleep.

Just as he was thinking about a good alternative, he saw a matrass on the sidewalk. Till today he could swear there was a note on the matrass saying: “can the owner of this matrass please take it away, cause it is in the way”.

Micky declared himself the new owner and took the matrass over his shoulder in the middle of the night and started walking, looking for a good spot to lay it down. Than he saw an elderly home that looked perfect. He threw the matrass over the three meter fence in front and tried to climb it himself. Needless to say he was unsuccessful. With a painful knee, he managed to do it by using an electricity house next to the fence.

Arriving in the yard, he picked out a nice balcony on the ground floor, moved some furniture and laid down the matrass. Since it was the end of summer, the conditions to sleep outside were perfect. However in the morning Micky was rudely aroused and looking up he saw two blue uniforms. The elderly had called the cops on him. However this story got a happy ending since none of them got a heart attack and Micky got away without a fine and one good story richer.

Micky Bumbar

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